does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
