can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
