just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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