You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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