is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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