his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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