guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
