We named our party play list daddy issues
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
