just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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