Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
