i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
im holly from the hills drunk
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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