While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You have to summon your inner elephant
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
