You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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