am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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