I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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