3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
