Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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