Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
