Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
