he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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