just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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