That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
