i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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