Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
