Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
