I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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