DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
