I puked a lego.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
