I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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