corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
