I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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