I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We talked him into tasing himself.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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