? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just high enough for therapy.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
