no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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