So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
