i was born a porn star she said
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
