I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
