I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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