she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
