Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
