Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
