He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
