It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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