You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
