White coat. Heels.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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