My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I would fuck him just for his dog
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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