try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
