haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
