First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
