Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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