just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
