i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
