I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
