If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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