High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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