I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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