Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
