wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
