Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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