I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
