I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
