So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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