I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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