So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
