I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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