Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I met the friendliest cop last night
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize