i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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