White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize