I'm jealous of your bromance
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
