the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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